“The UGLY Truth” (and the beautiful things too) about being a Mommy and all those things in between!

Happy New Year!!!  Even though it’s now March, I think it’s a safe bet that we are all still getting used to writing “2013” when we write the date, well I know I am anyway.  I did want to get this entry back in January, but honestly I had a real hard time fitting it in, not just because of the busy life of a mom, wife, human being, etc., but also because I was on a DIET for the first time in my life, which took up A LOT of my time, but more on that later in the entry.

Now, (I feel like there should be a drum roll here, ha-ha) here is that blog I have been working on that some might consider a little controversial.  To all you MOMs, MOM-to-be’s, those who want to be a MOM one day, (even dads, parents, or if you’re just a little curious), here it is…THE UGLY TRUTH!

Before I dive into that, I would like to explore a bit why it is called the ugly truth?  I never really liked that terminology, because what makes the truth so ugly?  I consider myself to be a very honest and truthful person, and you know what?  NOT EVERY ONE IS, and that’s ok, some people are not quite as blunt as I can be because they believe perhaps that the TRUTH hurts.  I have gotten in trouble here and there for being so honest, so you do have to watch it.  However, I also believe that the other saying is true too “the truth shall set you free.”  While the truth does hurt, sometimes it is just what the doctor ordered!  I do not expect everyone to be the same as myself, nor am I saying it is the best way to go, but I do believe that I wished someone had told me about not only the millions of WONDERFUL things about being a Mom, but also the truly UGLY things about being a Mom.  So here goes, I hope this truth is not too ugly for my readers out there…

Here is what i believe to be The hardest (ugliest) things about being a MOM:

You will be saying goodbye to:

• Your free/alone time
• Sleep and showers, as they become a luxury
• Having time to eat/cook/bake
• Staying up late
• Exercising
• Having time to clean like you used to
• Having time to put on makeup/groom yourself
• Making the time for you and your husband/significant other
• Saying goodbye (pun intended), as its very hard to leave your child, even when you do they are now always first in your thoughts

Not that the above things are impossible to do, you find a way to work them into your schedule, that is unless you haven’t passed out from sheer exhaustion.  But, you do become creative and find a way to (as Tim Gunn would say) “make it work.”

Plus, in my experience, these things become much easier after the first two months…you then have a window of time between from about 2 months until they start moving where you start having some new ugly truths.  Once they start crawling and walking, which for my daughter she was crawling at 7 months and walking at 10 months, you have a whole slew of new things to worry about.  You have now moved onto the next stage, the mobile stage (or the nervous wreck stage if you were like me).

You will be worrying about:

• Them falling constantly
• If you baby-proofed everything well-enough (and trust me NO ONE ever does)
• Where did they get that bruise?
• You mean I can’t use the play-pen/yard as much as I did before because they want to explore?
• When will they stop being so wobbly?
• Where did they get that piece of food they just put in your mouth (you will be cleaning your floors A LOT more)
• Some days you want to just drop from being so tired of chasing them around, or saying “no” or “not for babies” for the hundredth time

Now, these worries also get much easier as they become more stable on their feet and learn their boundaries.  It’s funny how we all as parents are sooo eagerly waiting for our children to become mobile, (I was one of them too) but once they do, IT’S ALL OVER.  Free time again becomes even more diminished, but just like everything else in life…you learn, you grow, you adapt right along with them.  Seeing them in any type of pain is a very difficult thing to deal with as well.  Not to mention just how awful it is when they are sick and/or you don’t know what’s wrong with them too.  But, once these things subside (they don’t ever fully go away, but they do get better) you really begin to enjoy everything much more again.  They start talking even more and doing all sorts of things that just make you happy, and sometimes yes they do make you crazy as well.

Another ugly truth?  Well, as a proud parent we sometimes like to brag about our child.  So, here is my little bit of boasting, I am very proud to admit that Juliette can walk, run, skip, dance and gallop at 19 months old.  I feel like she says a new word almost daily lately, she has even started to say phrases, I am waiting for her first real sentence soon.  She knows all of her letters, how old she is, most of her body parts, and now we are working on numbers, shapes, and colors.  She even knows some songs and animals sounds…remember you are talking to a former teacher here who is her Mommy.  But, I will also admit that we are currently trying to get her off the pacifier, which is proving to be a VERY difficult task.

This now brings me to the much happier side, the most beautiful things about being a Mom/parent.  I will tell anyone who has asked me about motherhood, “it is the best thing I have ever done in my life, but also the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life.”  The rewards and the benefits definitely outweigh the tough times.  So, just try to keep in mind if you are having a rough moment about your child or children no matter what the age, “this too shall pass.”

Here’s my favorite list…

THE TOP TEN MOST WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT BEING A MOM:

1)   HOW you feel when you child looks into your eyes and smiles because they are happy to see you

2)   How you feel from watching your husband play with your daughter as he falls more and more into being a father everyday

3)   How you feel when your child accomplishes something/anything for the first time, whether it be getting their first tooth or saying “thank you” (sounds more like “tank tuuu” from Juliette as she said it this week for the first time)

4)   How you feel from just thinking about your child

5)   How you feel having some peace and quiet when they are quietly and blissfully asleep J

6)   How you feel when you hire a babysitter (outside your family) and feel comfortable leaving them with someone you trust, that’s was a BIG step for me

7)   How you feel when you make them/hear them laugh

8)   Hearing them say “Mama” for the first time

9)   Realizing that you didn’t know anything about being a parent until it actually happened to you

10)  Realizing how you life is now forever changed for the better because of them

And the truth is here that I could go on and on and on about the joyous things, the hard things, the scary things, and so much more, and I know this list will only increase as my daughter and my family grows.

One thing I know for certain is you will love the child more than life itself as soon as you feel them kick inside of you for the first time.  I’d like to say it all gets easier with certainty, but it probably won’t.  What I do know (as I previously wrote) is that the benefits outweigh any of the hard things that happen, and you will adjust.  Like this blog is so aptly titled, it’s now purely “Juliette’s World” and I just live in it.

One last little confession here, earlier in this entry I wrote about how I was on a diet, the first diet I’ve ever been on and I’m going to save all the information about that until my next entry.  Until then, I will leave you with my take on the answers to these questions I asked many of the readers, my friends, and family in order to come up with this entry.  Thanks girls 🙂

What is the hardest thing about being a Mom? Wondering if you are doing the right thing for your child

What is the best/your favorite thing about being a Mom? Everything

What do you wish you could have more of now that you are a Mom? Free time

What were you most surprised about now that you are a Mom? That I would constantly be infected with the syndrome I now call “Mommy-brain”

Do you want more kids? Yes

MOM-to-be’s (here I thought of myself when I was a Mom-to-be): What are you most excited about? Seeing and holding my child for the first time

Is this your first pregnancy? Yes, Juliette was my first pregnancy

What are you most afraid of (if anything)? I couldn’t think of anything here

Those who want to be a MOM (hopefully) someday: Why do you want to be a Mom? (For these questions I just had to think about when I knew I wanted to be a mom, which was pretty much always, truly it was)  I believe I was born to be a mother; it’s as simple as that

How many children do you think you want? We know we want at least two kids, maybe three, but we will see how we feel after two

What are you most excited about or afraid of as/once that day comes near? I was most excited about being able to have my own child, as many people cannot.  I was afraid of giving birth a little, but just looked forward to end result, giving birth to my beautiful daughter. 

Until next time, hope you guys enjoyed THE UGLY TRUTH!!!

~J

“When a child is born, so is a mom.”  -Carter’s commercial