Archives for category: Clumsiness

Happy New Year!!!  Even though it’s now March, I think it’s a safe bet that we are all still getting used to writing “2013” when we write the date, well I know I am anyway.  I did want to get this entry back in January, but honestly I had a real hard time fitting it in, not just because of the busy life of a mom, wife, human being, etc., but also because I was on a DIET for the first time in my life, which took up A LOT of my time, but more on that later in the entry.


Now, (I feel like there should be a drum roll here, ha-ha) here is that blog I have been working on that some might consider a little controversial.  To all you MOMs, MOM-to-be’s, those who want to be a MOM one day, (even dads, parents, or if you’re just a little curious), here it is…THE UGLY TRUTH!

Before I dive into that, I would like to explore a bit why it is called the ugly truth?  I never really liked that terminology, because what makes the truth so ugly?  I consider myself to be a very honest and truthful person, and you know what?  NOT EVERY ONE IS, and that’s ok, some people are not quite as blunt as I can be because they believe perhaps that the TRUTH hurts.  I have gotten in trouble here and there for being so honest, so you do have to watch it.  However, I also believe that the other saying is true too “the truth shall set you free.”  While the truth does hurt, sometimes it is just what the doctor ordered!  I do not expect everyone to be the same as myself, nor am I saying it is the best way to go, but I do believe that I wished someone had told me about not only the millions of WONDERFUL things about being a Mom, but also the truly UGLY things about being a Mom.  So here goes, I hope this truth is not too ugly for my readers out there…

Here is what i believe to be The hardest (ugliest) things about being a MOM:

You will be saying goodbye to:

  • Your free/alone time
  • Sleep and showers, as they become a luxury
  • Having time to eat/cook/bake
  • Staying up late
  • Exercising
  • Having time to clean like you used to
  • Having time to put on makeup/groom yourself
  • Making the time for you and your husband/significant other
  • Saying goodbye (pun intended), as its very hard to leave your child, even when you do they are now always first in your thoughts

Not that the above things are impossible to do, you find a way to work them into your schedule, that is unless you haven’t passed out from sheer exhaustion.  But, you do become creative and find a way to (as Tim Gunn would say) “make it work.”

Plus, in my experience, these things become much easier after the first two months…you then have a window of time between from about 2 months until they start moving where you start having some new ugly truths.  Once they start crawling and walking, which for my daughter she was crawling at 7 months and walking at 10 months, you have a whole slew of new things to worry about.  You have now moved onto the next stage, the mobile stage (or the nervous wreck stage if you were like me).

You will be worrying about:

  • Them falling constantly
  • If you baby-proofed everything well-enough (and trust me NO ONE ever does)
  • Where did they get that bruise?
  • You mean I can’t use the play-pen/yard as much as I did before because they want to explore?
  • When will they stop being so wobbly?
  • Where did they get that piece of food they just put in your mouth (you will be cleaning your floors A LOT more)
  • Some days you want to just drop from being so tired of chasing them around, or saying “no” or “not for babies” for the hundredth time

Now, these worries also get much easier as they become more stable on their feet and learn their boundaries.  It’s funny how we all as parents are sooo eagerly waiting for our children to become mobile, (I was one of them too) but once they do, IT’S ALL OVER.  Free time again becomes even more diminished, but just like everything else in life…you learn, you grow, you adapt right along with them.  Seeing them in any type of pain is a very difficult thing to deal with as well.  Not to mention just how awful it is when they are sick and/or you don’t know what’s wrong with them too.  But, once these things subside (they don’t ever fully go away, but they do get better) you really begin to enjoy everything much more again.  They start talking even more and doing all sorts of things that just make you happy, and sometimes yes they do make you crazy as well.

Another ugly truth?  Well, as a proud parent we sometimes like to brag about our child.  So, here is my little bit of boasting, I am very proud to admit that Juliette can walk, run, skip, dance and gallop at 19 months old.  I feel like she says a new word almost daily lately, she has even started to say phrases, I am waiting for her first real sentence soon.  She knows all of her letters, how old she is, most of her body parts, and now we are working on numbers, shapes, and colors.  She even knows some songs and animals sounds…remember you are talking to a former teacher here who is her Mommy.  But, I will also admit that we are currently trying to get her off the pacifier, which is proving to be a VERY difficult task.

This now brings me to the much happier side, the most beautiful things about being a Mom/parent.  I will tell anyone who has asked me about motherhood, “it is the best thing I have ever done in my life, but also the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life.”  The rewards and the benefits definitely outweigh the tough times.  So, just try to keep in mind if you are having a rough moment about your child or children no matter what the age, “this too shall pass.”


Here’s my favorite list…


1)   HOW you feel when you child looks into your eyes and smiles because they are happy to see you

2)   How you feel from watching your husband play with your daughter as he falls more and more into being a father everyday

3)   How you feel when your child accomplishes something/anything for the first time, whether it be getting their first tooth or saying “thank you” (sounds more like “tank tuuu” from Juliette as she said it this week for the first time)

4)   How you feel from just thinking about your child

5)   How you feel having some peace and quiet when they are quietly and blissfully asleep J

6)   How you feel when you hire a babysitter (outside your family) and feel comfortable leaving them with someone you trust, that’s was a BIG step for me

7)   How you feel when you make them/hear them laugh

8)   Hearing them say “Mama” for the first time

9)   Realizing that you didn’t know anything about being a parent until it actually happened to you

10)  Realizing how you life is now forever changed for the better because of them

And the truth is here that I could go on and on and on about the joyous things, the hard things, the scary things, and so much more, and I know this list will only increase as my daughter and my family grows.

One thing I know for certain is you will love the child more than life itself as soon as you feel them kick inside of you for the first time.  I’d like to say it all gets easier with certainty, but it probably won’t.  What I do know (as I previously wrote) is that the benefits outweigh any of the hard things that happen, and you will adjust.  Like this blog is so aptly titled, it’s now purely “Juliette’s World” and I just live in it.


One last little confession here, earlier in this entry I wrote about how I was on a diet, the first diet I’ve ever been on and I’m going to save all the information about that until my next entry.  Until then, I will leave you with my take on the answers to these questions I asked many of the readers, my friends, and family in order to come up with this entry.  Thanks girls 🙂

What is the hardest thing about being a Mom? Wondering if you are doing the right thing for your child

What is the best/your favorite thing about being a Mom? Everything

What do you wish you could have more of now that you are a Mom? Free time

What were you most surprised about now that you are a Mom? That I would constantly be infected with the syndrome I now call “Mommy-brain”

Do you want more kids? Yes

MOM-to-be’s (here I thought of myself when I was a Mom-to-be): What are you most excited about? Seeing and holding my child for the first time

Is this your first pregnancy? Yes, Juliette was my first pregnancy

What are you most afraid of (if anything)? I couldn’t think of anything here

Those who want to be a MOM (hopefully) someday: Why do you want to be a Mom? (For these questions I just had to think about when I knew I wanted to be a mom, which was pretty much always, truly it was)  I believe I was born to be a mother; it’s as simple as that

How many children do you think you want? We know we want at least two kids, maybe three, but we will see how we feel after two

What are you most excited about or afraid of as/once that day comes near? I was most excited about being able to have my own child, as many people cannot.  I was afraid of giving birth a little, but just looked forward to end result, giving birth to my beautiful daughter. 

Until next time, hope you guys enjoyed THE UGLY TRUTH!!!



“When a child is born, so is a mom.”  -Carter’s commercialImage

So imagine this…you think you are a super-cool and super-organized Mom (perhaps using “super” now makes me so very uncool, hmmm…oh well).  You think you have everything with you as you get in the car before you leave your house: a fully stocked diaper bag, your purse, sippy cup, snacks, water bottle, coupons, shopping lists, and (you would think, most importantly) your DAUGHTERbut there is another very important item that I am missing here!!!  I go to start the ignition and I am missing my…KEYS!!!  Yes, I forgot my keys and had locked myself out of the house with my baby!!

Has this happened to you?  Well, before I became a mother this NEVER happened to me, I actually was that super-organized, not to mention a much less forgetful, person.  I was that person who always had everything anyone needed, and more.  Hey, I was a Girl Scout after all, and our motto was,  “Be Prepared,” and up until I became a Mom, actually scratch that…up until I became pregnant, I was a very together person.  This has all changed now!

I always prided myself in my organization, my to-do lists, and my great balance.  I was an athlete growing up, very flexible, and I was barely ever hurt.  I would forget things every now and then (like anyone else did), but I was not a klutz…nor was I completely absent minded.  I had my “blonde” moments and could be a little ditzy from time to time, but well, if you have been pregnant before I am sure we can all say an “AMEN” together when you hear the term “BABY BRAIN.”  Sometimes it is also referred to as either, “pregnant brain,” or “Mommy brain.”

As I have mentioned before, when I was pregnant I was a teacher.  As I got further and further along in my pregnancy, I suddenly noticed myself making quite a few mistakes inside the classroom.  So, instead of making an excuse to my students I began to blame my mistakes and forgetfulness on my newly found (or lost) “pregnant brain.”  It actually became a running joke in my classroom, any time I had some weird “brain fart” or error, especially at the white-board, I would look at the students shake my head and they would say, “pregnant brain!” and I would nod my head, smile, and throw my hands up in the air.

At home, my husband started to see a whole new side of me too, besides wanting to go to bed at 6:30 p.m. and hibernate (like that of a bear), I began running into things constantly, slipping, getting strange bumps and bruises all over my body.  I can’t even tell you how many times he would ask me, “Jess, are you ok?”  or “what did you do now?” and I would say, “oh yeah hunny…I just it’s just my pregnant brain.”

Think this might stop after you’ve had your baby???  THINK AGAIN!!  It does not stop, actually it gets worse, because now your pregnant brain has magically turned into “Mommy Brain” or “Baby Brain.”  Besides the lack of sleep and free time from the start of being a Mom, or a parent for that matter, you slowly start to lose your mind.

So, here is a TOP 10 list of what BABY BRAIN has done to me (as it has slowly taken over my body over almost the past two years…from pregnancy to the present, as Juliette is now 14 months). 

1)   Losing my keys for the first time- When Juliette was only about a month old, I couldn’t find my keys.  Instead of making a big fuss over it, I used my extra set and didn’t fret about it.  About 30 minutes later we had arrived at our destination.  As I went to get Juliette out of the car, I discovered something very odd…MY KEYS on THE ROOF?!  They were stuck on the roof rack on top of the car right above the car door near her car-seat side…how did they stay on top of the car that whole time???  I haven’t a clue, but either way it saved me a lot of time and money.  Note to self: Next time you get your child out of their car-seat, do not temporarily place your keys on top of the car!

2)   Getting Lost- While driving home from work one day, very tired and pregnant, I got so dazed out I missed the same exit that I took home everyday for almost four years!  The funny thing is that I didn’t realize this until 6 more exits passed!

3)   Slipping on the Ice– On one cold wintery day while exiting the car ( I think I had just entered into my second trimester) it happened to be very slippery out and, even though I was wearing boots, I slipped and nearly did a split, and skinned my hand and wrist.  Not a hard enough fall where I was worried about my belly, but hard enough where I got a little shook up and switched to better gripped boots for the rest of the winter.

4)   Colliding with a student- Monitoring the hallways during the change of classes ifs always a part of any middle-school teacher’s job.  So, once the bell would ring I would waddle over and stand in the small crevice between the hallway and my classroom door so I didn’t get plowed into as I watched the students pass by.  One day, while I was doing this, I heard something behind me, stepped forward and turned my head to make sure everything was ok.  Just then- BOOM…I was hit by the student carrying all of their books!  As their books fell and the student quickly saw my face, she abruptly apologized.  I was getting pretty big at this point, I think about 6 or 7 months along and even though I played it off like I was fine, I did feel a tiny little pain in my belly.  I called the doctor on my way home and they told me I was probably fine, but if I was worried I could stop by.  OF COURSE, I STOPPED BY.  After being hooked up to a monitor to check the baby’s heartbeat, crisis was averted and all was fine.

5)   Ankle hit #1– (right ankle) One day over my due date and VERY restless and uncomfortable, I decided to go on a walk with the dogs, my Mom, and my husband.  I hadn’t even gotten out of my parents driveway when my ankle turned out and I fell right down onto my butt.  No bumps or bruises this time, just very shaken up, and a very twisted ankle.  That’s all I needed, I just wanted my baby to be delivered, and now I had a huge swollen ankle, which makes it even harder to walk around.  I had to wear an ace bandage and ice it very often up until Juliette came, which was just three days later.

6)   Ankle hit #2 & #3- Juliette was about six months old when I walking down the stairs with her on one arm and my purse and diaper bag on the other, when I slipped!  Of course all I worried about was my baby, so I protected her as I stumbled down 4 stairs and landed on my bottom, but definitely sprained left my ankle.  Juliette was fine as can be, but after a trip to the doctor and I learned I did sprain my left ankle and had to wear a brace for almost a month, at least I didn’t have to use crutches.  I was still able to walk, just with a limp for a while.  Ankle hit #3- You think I would’ve learned my lesson at this point!  After my left ankle was just about healed, I was walking down the stairs, thankfully alone this time, but of course carrying two bags, and fell down the same stairs again!  This time it was VERY bad, I could barely move my right ankle and I had never seen it so swollen.  Another doctor’s visit later, I had a new brace, lot of icing to do…and oh yeah crutches this time too!!!  How do you take care of a baby with crutches?  You become just like them, you are stumbling, kneeling, and even crawling a lot, plus you get lots of help from family, thankfully.  The very LONG week of crutches was NOT fun or easy in any which way!  Believe it or not my right ankle is still swollen to this day!  I STILL have to ice it sometimes, as the doctor said I jammed this one up very badly and it could take up to 8-12 months to fully heal.  However, I have a feeling that this right ankle won’t ever be the same.

7)   A Pain in the neck…and back– I strained my neck so badly on Mother’s Day…(yup on my first Mother’s Day) when I had turned around very quickly to see what Juliette was doing behind me.  This was a mistake, my neck was strained so bad that I could barely keep it straight all day, let alone move it to the right side, and it took about two weeks to recover from that.  Then, just a few weeks ago, I once again strained it while rocking Juliette to sleep.  Just to top it off, again last week (NO BABY INVOLVED THIS TIME) I was just lying down in bed when I moved, not even quickly this time, to grab my glass of water and again strained it!  The back issues have not been fun either.  They have been there for the past four years or so, having to bend for most things, (because as most tall people know, the world is not created for tall people…or short people for that matter…it’s made for average sized people).  The lower back pain got so bad while I was at the end of my pregnancy I had to wear a back brace.  Just recently, I really strained it again bending over to pull the sheet off of Juliette’s crib.  While heating pads and ice did help slightly, a very necessary chiropractor appointment was made…but more on that issue in another entry.

8)   Forgetting to put on deodorant– Once on my way to work when I was pregnant, I realized I forgot to put on deodorant.  Luckily, I had an extra one in my desk, which I quickly put on before the students arrived.  Much later on, after rushing out of the house when Juliette was only about four months old, we were on our way to a party when I realized that I once again forgot to put on deodorant!  So, we had to make a pit stop for me to get some deodorant at CVS.  Which I now proudly keep in my glove compartment, thanks to the advice from my husband.

9)   Losing my sandal at Walmart- it was almost the end of September, and I always hold onto my  sandals as long as I possibly can before getting into closed toe shoes.  I was running some errands with the little one and when my flip-flop broke!  This was not just any old flip-flop either, it was one of my favorite (not to mention expensive) pairs, my Fit-Flops!  So, there I was dragging my foot along the aisles of Walmart, looking for the shoe section.  I ended up having to buy some imitation Converse sneakers and wear them out of the store.  I have to admit, I am not one who embarrasses easily, but for some reason this one really did embarrass me.

10)  LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE– This brings me to the start of my entry, when I had locked my baby and myself out of the house.  Jumping through the back window, which was very high might I add, even for a girl who is 6 feet tall, was no easy task.  It was the middle of August, and as I wrote at the beginning, I thought I had everything with me!  But, I got into the car and what was I missing, MY KEYS!  I called my husband in a panic, who (if he had to, he could have drove home) but it wouldn’t be for at least 2 hours (one hour to get out of work, and another hour to drive home)…did I really want to waste the money and call a locksmith??  No, instead I remembered that I may have a left one of the back windows unlocked…of course it wasn’t the one connected to the deck, that would’ve been too easy!  It was the highest one on the side of the house in the back.  So, after stacking up three chairs and a small table on top of each other I got that window open and slipped in (and when I mean slipped I mean bumped, bruised and jumped…err, skidded through the window).  Juliette is watching this all go down in the backyard perfectly content in her stroller playing with her teether keys and babbling to herself…probably saying, “Mommy did you have a brain before I was born?”  This was the worst set of purple and red bruises I’ve had since I was 9 and had fell over a fence.  These bruises took weeks to heal, and were quite painful, it’s now October and one of them is still going away!

So, there you have it!  A list of all my LITERAL ups, downs, accidents, bumps, bruises, etc. over the past two years due to the joy of motherhood (well that’s what I am blaming anyway).  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it…because everyone falls down, even those who are not Moms!

 “When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep on walking.” –Carrie of Sex and The City, from the one of my favorite (and I think one of the most beloved) episodes, “The Real Me,” (Season 4) where Carrie becomes ‘fashion road-kill.’